Fear

its scarry to think abt it but in abt 2 years ... i will have to start working ... stepping into the real world as a prefessional
i mean i've worked b4 and it was not that bad ... i kinda enjoyed it but these jobs were simple ... wat i am really afraid of is when i do work ... wat if i fuck up ... i won't have anyone to reffer to ... wat if i'm not good enough in the field ...

like right now ... when i look at the other students in my class ... they actually underatand wat is going on ... i mean i do too ... but when u ask me to like calculate it ... i donno where to begin ... i sit there and see everybody doing stuff and i feel left behind ... i've asked my lecturer for help and all he told me was that because this is a continewation of a past year module ... it should be easy ... but it has had a 89% failure rate .. not very comforting ... i've gone through really hard subjects like Fluid mechanics, thermodynamics, strength of materials ... mechanics of machines ... instramentation and control ... but nothing like this subject ...

so basically i'm trying to catch up 2 1/2 years of work in 5 months ... not happening ...

so wat happens when this occures in the working world ... wat can i do then ... i can learn from my mistakes but .. at wat price ... in my line ... 1 mistake can cause a shit load of problems and pain...

every night i go through the damn book linked for the subject and catch absolutely nothing... mayb if i took it from the begining ... i might have had a chance...

even now i sit here looking at the practical lab report that i have to write and have no idea on how to start... i am so dead...

i wanna to be able to go into the working world ... confident ... dosn't look like it now ... damn