Changes

Woke up today with feelings of dread … dread of going through a mundane and lifeless weekend… as usual in cold Adelaide… 2 highlights today … calling Bryan for it was his birthday today and my brother coz its his birthday tomorrow… finally the relatively big 18… too long ago for me … anyways … Bryan … have a good one man,,, not that many come around anymore… anyways …. Was just thinking of some jap thing I heard along time ago … If I had a choice … I would die with the most pain and suffering possible so that I can remember wat it felt like to be alive … maybe then I’ll appreciate it more … and now that I have to fly back and forth quite often … don’t seem so difficult to achieve… hmmm good night … hope to write again tomorrow …